WTF HEALZ?! – Because I can't heal stupid.

{December 10, 2010}   Ah-oooooo! Worgen of Stormwind……

So, with Cata well and truely upon us, I made a Worgen. She’s a druid (Yes, another one!) and I’ll try to level her as a tank. If that goes belly-up (like I think it will), then she’ll be changed to either heals (which i love) or kitty dps (<3 kitties).

Which reminds me of how much of a hypocrite I am. I hate rogues. With a passion. That passion is hate. And not just because they’re horrible to heal and can’t seem to keep their aggro below the tanks’, or even because they look so much nicer whilst tanking the floor. I hate playing a rogue. I can’t get my head around it. But….I LOVE playing a kitty druid! CAT DURID IS 4 FITE! I love how a Cat Druid works! I love how (at low levels at least) all I have to do is spam Mangle and things die. I also know that healers hate me for that same reason. I DO NOT love tanking the floor, but it always seems to happen anyway =/

ANYWAY… little Worgen is going well. In the levelling zone I ran past someone called Akamaru(The name of Kiba’s dog in Naruto). I lol’d. Then I remembered a convo I had with a guildie about our Worgen the day before Cata, when he had told me he was naming his Worgen Akamaru. So, naturally, I whispered him with lots of caps and excitement. His answer?

“….sorry but i don’t know you…..”

It was the wrong person =/ Either that or my guildie was pulling my leg (don’t think he would though). Turns out he had ‘ninja’d’ the name (not deliberately) from my guildie. I apologised and fled the scene. I’m not sure why I still get embarrassed when I do dumb things.

Because there’s no such thing as dignity on the interwebs.


{December 10, 2010}   Here Kitty-Kitty……

Until our raiding starts, my guild has made a strict rule concerning Critters. KILL THEM ALL!

Why do we hate our cute, cuddly, squishy, scaley, furry, and/or slimey friends? Because if our guild kills 50,000 of them, we get an Armadillo Pup =) I’m a Companion Whore. And a Mount Whore. And an Achievement Whore in general…….

We’ve been trying to find a good place to kill the little blighters en masse, so if anyone knows of such a place, please tell me! I found Azshara to be pretty darn decent along the coast. There’s quite a lot of Shore Crabs, quite close together….AOE! I killed about 100 in the time it took me to do one lap of the coast on my epic flying pony. (Not the sparkle pony, the evil pony (Headless Horseman’s Mount))

I need to check out Dustwallow Marsh, see if all them frogs/toads are still there……

My guild is getting pumped, all ready for Cata. We want to try for world/realm firsts, and we’re serious contenders too!

Last week we took down RS, Sarth 3D, and Malygos, (all 10 man) all in the one night and with only one death across all of them. If it weren’t for that darn Shammy standing in the “PURPLE LAZAH OV DOOM” we’re have done all three without a single death.

Not to brag, but my guild is seriously awesome. Okay, I lied. I totally meant to brag.

And when Cata hits, you’ll be seeing our tag pop up on your screens, as we forever become a part of the history of Lothar (US).

{December 2, 2010}   PuGs Aren’t All Bad

I love being a healer. I honestly find it a less stressful job than DPS, and I only know how to tank on a Pally or Druid (Pally-Keep RF up and spam Consecration. Druid- Spam Swipe. What?Blizz nerfed it? WTF BLIZZ?! I have to learn things now!?!?).

So, when I’m on my Priest, with her fantabulous gear, I heal Heroic randoms. Meaning that I’m with a tank who is wearing nice gear too. So, I seriously use ONE spell the WHOLE instance: Renew. No shit. If people are dying REALLY fast? I pop a bubble on them, then click renew.

So when I start feeling bored/OP/elitist, I jump onto my lil’ druid. She’s Resto, with heirloom shoulders. I queue for a few randoms with her, because at the low levels, I’m not just a lootmonkey.

I ran a few randoms. Some were decent, some made me cringe (like when that guy challenged me for needing on a ring with +Int, +Spi, AND +Stam. Apparantly, HE needed it more, because it had stamina, and Stamina is obviously a tanking stat. I’ll give him that, but I only had a shitty ring with like +1 Int +1 Spi, It was an great upgrade for me. Yeah, did I mention he was a Warrior? A Tanking Warrior? Yeah…that’s important…), and some…some left me so traumatized that I had to go and walk a few laps around the kitchen before I felt well enough to come back to WoW.

But, I had one utterly fantastic group. I seriously hope you guys read this shit one day, because you seriously saved my day. Okay, I’ll set the scene. Healer-Me, a Resto Druid. Tank-A Prot Warrior. DPS- A Hunter (with an Ashtail fox), a Mage, and a Ret Pally.

A few pulls in, I notice that the Pally is pulling serious aggro. This is a Bad Thing(tm). So, I check him out to figure out why he’s pulling the goddamned aggro all the time. I click on his portrait picture, when I think to myself; “Self,” I thought, “This is a fantabulous time to try that new thing you stuck into your addon.” To clarify, as Myself is very clear, I have an addon (Can’t remember the name >.<) which measures Fails on an easy-to-use meter. It’s very similar to the one used for blocking idiots on Grid, but this is a standalone one that takes up most of my screen (which is why it wasn’t up). I check it and lo-and-behold, it says the Ret Pally has RF up. I go WTF?! Then I whisper him and tell him to turn it off. Pleased, I continue healing. But…he’s still pulling aggro. Yup, still got RF on =/ I whisper him again, using caps this time, to show him I’m serious. He doesn’t turn it off. I decide not to heal him anymore until it’s off. Yes, I’m a horrible person. Deal with it.

The Tank stops and asks why the Pally is almost dead. (The Pally was smarter than most. While he didn’t drop RF or his DPS when he realised he wasn’t getting heals, he started healing himself.) Before I can answer, he goes on to say “lol, wtg pally. drop RF.”  ❤ This tank. Naturally the pally does nothing. We stand there, going ‘wtf?’ when suddenly RF is turned off. Apparantly our Pally had to answer the door, so he sat his little bro in his chair and told him to push buttons. Little bro must have turned RF on by accident, and not playing WoW, didn’t know what we were talking about.

All good, we had a laugh, and told Little Bro that he did a great job (apparantly he was 5. I’m just wondering how he managed to know how to heal himself if he’d never played before) and continued without and problems….until the Fox randomly runs around a corner and starts laying into the mobs there. The hunter says “WTF? I didn’t tell him to do that. I didn’t even know they were there!” She goes on to say that “This pet has anger issues =/” and “He’s on Defensive too!” We think it’s hilarious and continue. (Note: I tamed Ashtail too, and it’s a spaz of a pet! I had to swap it for my Cat only a few pulls in, because it would only attack one mob then come back to me, even when I’d hit about 8 mobs with multi-shot about 5 times. Stupid Fox)

We requeue a few times, and we spend the whole run telling jokes and making each other laugh. The Tank is a bit gung-ho, chain-pulling the whole time. Which is fine, but by the time I type “OOM” she had usually pulled the next group =/ So, I decided to use my “OOM Macro”. It says:

/p I am out of mana. This means I can no longer heal your owies.                            

/p This macro brought to you by Lack Of Mana(tm), wiping raids since 2004.

They thought I was a genius for thinking it up. I thought “Sweet, they stopped! /use Sweet Nectar”. After that, I used my other macros too, like my awesome rez macro. If I’m in combat, it uses Battle Rez, if not it uses normal rez. Either time it says “CASTER DURID IS 4 REZ!” There were 3 lol’s and one “:O OMG! ALAMO!” I was pleased they recognized it, and said “You can’t spell Alamo without LMAO!” We started talking about Alamo’s Durid Skool, and the hunter informed me that her main was a cat druid, which is why she knew of it.

We kept running dungeons, and the Mage and Pally tell us that they had to leave (everyone was from a different realm btw). We say /bye and queue for 2 dps. We get them. Somehow we manage to wipe on a trash pull because our 2 new DPS (hunter and shammy) decided to tank it =/ The hunter was using a bear….and the shammy told us we were going too slow, so he decided to shoot them with stuff (fire? lightning? I dunno). We wiped, and MY tank and hunter realease to run with me. The NEW hunter and shammy do not. So I click my “Release and run plz you lazy lumps” macro.

/p Hello, ladies. Look at your corpse. Now back to me. Now back at your corpse. Now back to me. Sadly, we’re both dead. But if you release and run back, like me, we can start killing things again quicker. Look again. The HP is NOW DIAMONDS. I’m on a macro.

Don’t get it? Look up “Old Spice” on YouTube, and look for the one with the cute black guy wearing a towel. (I want him)

The tank and hunter thought it was awesome. The 2 new DPS thought I was an idiot, and told me so. Then the tank said in /p “WTF guys?!” I go huh? She says “One of those retards just tried to kick you!” I go =O IRL. Luckily my new buddies voted no, and proceded to kick both of them. I ❤ those two.

{November 26, 2010}  

I would like to make one thing crystal clear. I am a member of a RAIDING guild. We socialise, of course, and Vent get’s quite rowdy at times, and I consider quite a few members close friends. I can only assume at least ONE other person feels the same way.

So, why is it that when we’re wanting people to sign up for raids (RAIDING guild) the number one excuse for not going is “But I don’t need anything in there”……..

WTF?! Okay, I understand that you want to do harder content, fair enough. I understand if you want to get upgrades. I understand that you don’t want to carry people. But, let me ask this….HOW THE HELL ARE WE MEANT TO BE ABLE TO DO THAT HARDER CONTENT IF YOU WON’T HELP US GEAR UP THE REST OF OUR MEMBERS?!!? When I first joined, I signed up for every raid I could, and I was half-drooling over all the gear they were throwing at me. I seriously went up about 2000 GS in 2 raids, and I started in full t9. That’s how much they threw at me.

Now that I’m well geared, I still sign up for raids. Why? Because if I don’t, and I’m just fooling around in /g then I’m not helping the guild. I believe in karma and ‘paying it forward’, so because the guild was kind to me when I first joined, and helped me gear, I am kind to our newer members, and help them get gear.

Why do I go out of my way to help someone I don’t even know and probably will never meet IRL?

Coz Karma’s a bitch.

{November 26, 2010}   LFDouche……That’s Not Right….

LFD does not stand for Looking For Douches. So, when the queue pops, DON’T BE ONE! My priest has full ICC, so my mana pool is BIG, so I can handle it when the ICC geared tank pulls too much. But when he/she pulls THREE ROOMS at once…..yeah…

I’m always reading about fail PuGs, courtesy of LFD, and I just shake my head. As the healer, I’m expected to keep everyone alive. As the tank, you’re expected to hold the goddamned aggro OFF me! As DPS, you’re supposed to NOT pull off the tank, NOT pull ‘for’ the tank, and NOT stand in shit! As well as a simple rule for everyone: DON’T BE A DOUCHE!

Seriously folks, I get enough douchebags IRL, last thing I need is to have them on the interwebs too, heckling me and making me want to stab them with fire.

What I really hate? Is when my lvl 20 druid is healing, and the tank pulls the room. But it’s okay, because I have a 35k mana pool unbuffed…..oh…wait….no I don’t…. /wipe . And when the inevitable “WTF HEALZ?!” comes, and I ask them why they thought it was smart to pull that much, they tell me “I have an 80”.

…WTF TANK?! I have an 80 too.  “lol MY 80 has some ICC gear”

…WTF? That’s your arguement? Well, MY 80 has FULL ICC gear, about half of it HEROIC ICC. Their counterarguement? “no need to brag”

W.T.F.?!!?!?! My mind boggles at this. They start bragging, so when I say my gear is superior, I’M in the wrong?

But seriously, the BEST heroic run I’ve ever done was with a warrior tank, a hunter from the same guild, a shammy, and a warlock. Me being healer. When I zoned in, I looked at the tank’s GS. Uh-oh, not even 3000. Nothing happens for a few secs, then I see the tank has said: “Hi everyone. This is my first time tanking, so my gear isn’t very good, and I’m not familliar with all the buttons. Please forgive any mishaps. Also, if you notice me doing something wrong, please tell me.”

And as soon as I saw that, I smiled. Why? Because he honestly WANTED to do better. I asked, “Have you ran this Heroic before?” He said, yes, on his main, and as DPS. I cheered a little inside, because he didn’t tell me about his uber-awesome main that’s got full ICC and soloed the Lich King with nothing but a rusty spork….or whatever they brag about atm.

So, he pulled small and slowly, until someone got feared into the next room. It got a bit frantic there, and I lost the Shammy as about a hundred mobs swarm us (slight exaggeration), but to my surprise, the under-geared-under-experienced tank was keeping the mobs from wailing on me.

My mana bar’s SCREAMING as I struggle to keep him alive, as well as the DPS (Shammy had self-rezzed by then). Somehow, we survived. No mana left, but alive. As I started to refill the blue bar the tank typed, “That was awesome, but let’s not try to do that again :)”. /hug I seriously LOVED this tank! Not only did he then praise the DPS and heals, but he continued (at a slightly faster pace) to pull sensibly. Most other tanks would have thought ‘oh look the healer can heal pulls like this so lets do more to make this go faster’. This one SAW my blue bar was empty at the end, and realised that big pulls =/= smart pulls.

I was so pleased with him, I praised him for several minutes, and proceeded to run 7 more Heroics with him (and the rest of the group too). Aside from the Shaman dying and Ankhing once, there were no other deaths. 8 runs and one death? Never leave me.

So, what does this mean to you GS-lovers? GS =/= skill. Or, as I like to put it: “GearScore is like a bikini. What it reveals is suggestive, but what it hides is far more important.” I ninja’d that quote from somewhere… chat I think…..oh well. It sums it up well.

So, to all you Tanks with a low GS? Don’t despair. Just be nice and good and sweet and kind (ESPECIALLY to your healer(s)) and you’ll be fine, because people will put up with wipes because of a tank that is under-geared-under-experienced far more than wipes from an egotistical tank who is ‘awesome’ and not only lets you know it, but reminds you of it. ALL. THE. TIME. /twitch 

So, to you GOOD tanks? #^-^# Will you come be my damange sponge? Pwease? ^-^

{November 26, 2010}   Training Wheels

So, yesterday I ran ICC 10 with the guild. I was one of 3 healers, as we brought an extra healer to ‘teach’ them the fights.

We had 4 PuGs, 3 of them DPS. 1 of those DPS was a Regular PuG. So, 2 DPS we didn’t know crap about.

It’s on Heroic, and Marrowgar goes down. We celebrate because it taught us that the DPS knows NOT to stand in the fire.

Goes smooth until…Lady Deathwhisper. One of the PuG DPS keeps pulling it off the tank. When the DPS inevitably dies, we tell the two druids to NOT battle-rez him. The tank then calmly explains over Vent: “If you pull the goddamned boss off me, I will watch. I will watch it walk over to you, I will watch it hit you in your goddamned face, and I will watch you die. THEN, I will taunt the boss.”

The DPS got pissed and left. Yes, because it’s not like there’s a hundred other DPS sitting in Dal/SW who would love an invite to ICC 10. So, we replaced him with someone we sorta knew, on an alt we didn’t.

Run goes smoothly, a few wipes but nothing major, and we get to LK. We wipe. Damn. We try again. And…shitpissfuck, my computer decides to d/c me. I say over Vent “Crap, got d/c”. By the time I come back, we wiped again. Third time’s the charm. And it works. We lost the rogue early on, but he stood in defile, so that taught him.

We roflstomped Arthas, and told the rogue that if he EVER stood in Defile again, WE’D punt him off the edge. (He’s a gnome)

One of the PuGs (that behaved) is now applying to the guild. I hope he gets in, because I like healing DPS that don’t stand in crap.

{November 18, 2010}   First!!!

Greetings and salutations to you all!

But, seriously speaking, have an awesome day full of raids and PuGs that, y’know, actually know stuff and don’t stand in bad.

My priest is raiding with the guild today. Not sure what we’ll do yet. If Blizz has finally fixed the bug on Gunship, we’ll finish our ICC run. If not….we’ll find something to do, like Naxx or Onyxia.

I’m bringing up a young Paladin on the US-Oceanic server ‘Khaz’goroth, her name is Lyrra and she is a Dwarf. Why a Dwarf? Because I honestly think they look alright, as well as being the only Alliance race that actually looks like it could be a real person.

So, Lyrra’s going to be a healer, and she will be one of my main blogging points. My other healers will also feature:

Priest- Level 80, Holy-specced, she’s my main on Lothar. I’m not publishing her name, as I am going to be blogging about the guild she’s in, and I respect their privacy.

Druid- Lowbie, an alt on Lothar. Her name is Ithill (rhymes with ‘thistle’). She is levelling as Resto via LFD. She makes a LOT of mistakes.

Paladin- Lowbie, on Khaz’goroth. Her name is Lyrra (Said as ‘Lirra’) and she too will be levelling via LFD.

I have other healers too, but these are the ones I will most frequently use.

et cetera