I love being a healer. I honestly find it a less stressful job than DPS, and I only know how to tank on a Pally or Druid (Pally-Keep RF up and spam Consecration. Druid- Spam Swipe. What?Blizz nerfed it? WTF BLIZZ?! I have to learn things now!?!?).
So, when I’m on my Priest, with her fantabulous gear, I heal Heroic randoms. Meaning that I’m with a tank who is wearing nice gear too. So, I seriously use ONE spell the WHOLE instance: Renew. No shit. If people are dying REALLY fast? I pop a bubble on them, then click renew.
So when I start feeling bored/OP/elitist, I jump onto my lil’ druid. She’s Resto, with heirloom shoulders. I queue for a few randoms with her, because at the low levels, I’m not just a lootmonkey.
I ran a few randoms. Some were decent, some made me cringe (like when that guy challenged me for needing on a ring with +Int, +Spi, AND +Stam. Apparantly, HE needed it more, because it had stamina, and Stamina is obviously a tanking stat. I’ll give him that, but I only had a shitty ring with like +1 Int +1 Spi, It was an great upgrade for me. Yeah, did I mention he was a Warrior? A Tanking Warrior? Yeah…that’s important…), and some…some left me so traumatized that I had to go and walk a few laps around the kitchen before I felt well enough to come back to WoW.
But, I had one utterly fantastic group. I seriously hope you guys read this shit one day, because you seriously saved my day. Okay, I’ll set the scene. Healer-Me, a Resto Druid. Tank-A Prot Warrior. DPS- A Hunter (with an Ashtail fox), a Mage, and a Ret Pally.
A few pulls in, I notice that the Pally is pulling serious aggro. This is a Bad Thing(tm). So, I check him out to figure out why he’s pulling the goddamned aggro all the time. I click on his portrait picture, when I think to myself; “Self,” I thought, “This is a fantabulous time to try that new thing you stuck into your addon.” To clarify, as Myself is very clear, I have an addon (Can’t remember the name >.<) which measures Fails on an easy-to-use meter. It’s very similar to the one used for blocking idiots on Grid, but this is a standalone one that takes up most of my screen (which is why it wasn’t up). I check it and lo-and-behold, it says the Ret Pally has RF up. I go WTF?! Then I whisper him and tell him to turn it off. Pleased, I continue healing. But…he’s still pulling aggro. Yup, still got RF on =/ I whisper him again, using caps this time, to show him I’m serious. He doesn’t turn it off. I decide not to heal him anymore until it’s off. Yes, I’m a horrible person. Deal with it.
The Tank stops and asks why the Pally is almost dead. (The Pally was smarter than most. While he didn’t drop RF or his DPS when he realised he wasn’t getting heals, he started healing himself.) Before I can answer, he goes on to say “lol, wtg pally. drop RF.” <3 This tank. Naturally the pally does nothing. We stand there, going ‘wtf?’ when suddenly RF is turned off. Apparantly our Pally had to answer the door, so he sat his little bro in his chair and told him to push buttons. Little bro must have turned RF on by accident, and not playing WoW, didn’t know what we were talking about.
All good, we had a laugh, and told Little Bro that he did a great job (apparantly he was 5. I’m just wondering how he managed to know how to heal himself if he’d never played before) and continued without and problems….until the Fox randomly runs around a corner and starts laying into the mobs there. The hunter says “WTF? I didn’t tell him to do that. I didn’t even know they were there!” She goes on to say that “This pet has anger issues =/” and “He’s on Defensive too!” We think it’s hilarious and continue. (Note: I tamed Ashtail too, and it’s a spaz of a pet! I had to swap it for my Cat only a few pulls in, because it would only attack one mob then come back to me, even when I’d hit about 8 mobs with multi-shot about 5 times. Stupid Fox)
We requeue a few times, and we spend the whole run telling jokes and making each other laugh. The Tank is a bit gung-ho, chain-pulling the whole time. Which is fine, but by the time I type “OOM” she had usually pulled the next group =/ So, I decided to use my “OOM Macro”. It says:
/p I am out of mana. This means I can no longer heal your owies.
/p This macro brought to you by Lack Of Mana(tm), wiping raids since 2004.
They thought I was a genius for thinking it up. I thought “Sweet, they stopped! /use Sweet Nectar”. After that, I used my other macros too, like my awesome rez macro. If I’m in combat, it uses Battle Rez, if not it uses normal rez. Either time it says “CASTER DURID IS 4 REZ!” There were 3 lol’s and one “:O OMG! ALAMO!” I was pleased they recognized it, and said “You can’t spell Alamo without LMAO!” We started talking about Alamo’s Durid Skool, and the hunter informed me that her main was a cat druid, which is why she knew of it.
We kept running dungeons, and the Mage and Pally tell us that they had to leave (everyone was from a different realm btw). We say /bye and queue for 2 dps. We get them. Somehow we manage to wipe on a trash pull because our 2 new DPS (hunter and shammy) decided to tank it =/ The hunter was using a bear….and the shammy told us we were going too slow, so he decided to shoot them with stuff (fire? lightning? I dunno). We wiped, and MY tank and hunter realease to run with me. The NEW hunter and shammy do not. So I click my “Release and run plz you lazy lumps” macro.
/p Hello, ladies. Look at your corpse. Now back to me. Now back at your corpse. Now back to me. Sadly, we’re both dead. But if you release and run back, like me, we can start killing things again quicker. Look again. The HP is NOW DIAMONDS. I’m on a macro.
Don’t get it? Look up “Old Spice” on YouTube, and look for the one with the cute black guy wearing a towel. (I want him)
The tank and hunter thought it was awesome. The 2 new DPS thought I was an idiot, and told me so. Then the tank said in /p “WTF guys?!” I go huh? She says “One of those retards just tried to kick you!” I go =O IRL. Luckily my new buddies voted no, and proceded to kick both of them. I <3 those two.